He is still good

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from your majesty's (Nebuchadnezzar) hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, your majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Micah 3:17-18

I am stressed out.I have a portfolio to finish in a week and I am going to a job fair soon and I have other assignments to complete and I am trying to be a student teacher and college student. And I can't do all of that at the same time.

I am a lot like a volcano sometimes. Things will build and build until I finally erupt. Well, tonight all the stress and anxiety bubbled up to the surface and exploded.

Stress causes me physical pain. Right now, I feel it in my shoulder and my stomach. I haven't had an appetite this week, partially because of a stomach bug on Monday, but also because of stress and anxiety. 

As I drove to my dorm, which I am tired of living in at times, I collapsed under everything. I turned off the radio and cried out, "I CAN'T DO THIS!". I repeated this over and over until I was sobbing and driving up Stretch Road, a favorite pastime. 

"God, I need You! I always need You, but I can't do this without your help."

I continued crying and asking God to take away this pain in my shoulder and stomach. I asked that this would all be over soon, knowing it will be, but fearing I won't have everything completed or prepared in time.

I was crying out to God, but I was also defeating myself, which I so often do. Abba Father reminded me of this and began to speak truth over me. Was God actually speaking in my car? No, not the literal voice of God. It was my literal voice, but those word of truth were not something my sinful heart came up with on its own.

"Okay, I am loved. You have a plan and it might not be my plan, but it is better. You will guide me through this. You are working all things toward my good, even if I can't see it right now. If not, You are still good."

Those last words, He is still good, I repeated over and over in the Friendship parking lot. There was a lot of tears and breathing in and out and repeating He is still good.

This stress is temporary. Most of it will be gone in a week and Abba Father will guide me through to complete that which He has set before me. And in the stress and anxiety, I can call out to the Creator of the world, who loves me. And through it all He is still good.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." 
John 3:16-17

"For I know what I have planned for you,ʼ says the Lord. ʻI have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you b a future filled with hope."
Jeremiah 29:11

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

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