Winter

"Though the winter is long even richer the harvest it brings"

-Seasons by Hillsong

Is anyone else tired of this season of Winter? It has been long, cold, and bitter. Just the month of January felt like three whole months. I am tired of the cold and miserable. I am ready for Spring and the warm sun.

I crave the beach around this time of year. All I want to do is escape for a few days to the beach to soak up some sun and read a Nicholas Sparks book. Forget my worries, get lost in a story, and relax in a cute suit. But I have responsibilities and a job and Spring Break isn't until the end of March (and I am so thankful for it!).

Sara Haggerty writes about seasons of Winter throughout our lives in her book Unseen. Winter is a season of waiting for the fruits of our labor to bloom and looks bare to the outside eye. But even in Winter, there is growth.

I am in a season of Winter, of waiting for the Spring flowers to bloom. Waiting for answers. Waiting for "my time", knowing it may not come. Waiting to see what the Lord's plan is. 

I hate when people ask me if I want to stay in Rome long term. I don't have a five year plan. I know what the next few months hold, but after next May I am unsure of what this season of life looks like. Already, it is changing from what it was a month ago. 

When I turned 24, a month and a half ago, I was in love with my life. I have been blessed with an incredible community and cherish how it has grown and flourished. I've found my pace and place in my job and continue to learn and love it. I have plans to travel with my sister. My life was by no means perfect, but if felt like I was in a sweet spot. I was excited about what this year of life holds because 23 was filled with restoration and growth. 

Twenty-four is going to look different. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. Life is changing and some of my closest friends are moving in a new direction, an exciting direction. Marriage. Wow. It scares and entices me. It is wonderful and holy and beautiful and I am extremely excited for my friends who will be entering it this year. Selfishly, I'm sad for myself. I'm not part of the club and likely won't be soon, which is okay.

It sometimes feels like I'm being told to stop, do not pass go, do not collect $200, while I watch others collect their $200 and run past go. My life is not lacking because I am single. I am not incomplete because I do not have a person. I am not insignificant because I do not have a significant other. But it can feel that way sometimes, especially in the Winter.

I am not saying that singleness is a season of waiting. I am not waiting to live my life or for things to happen. I am making community (you have to work at it post-college) and making an impact in it. I am saying that where I am right now, because of some things I have been praying about and anticipation of change, is a season of Winter.

I had a conversation with a friend who is engaged about these seasons of Winter. We both feel as if we are in a Winter. Because it doesn't matter what your relationship status is. We experience Winter in seasons of singleness, engagement, marriage, child-rearing, barrenness, divorce, hurt, anger, depression, grief. Winter is tied where you are waiting and how you are longing and praying.

But in Winter is where we see the quiet and unexpected growth. The little mysteries revealed through perseverance and hope. The beauty that is hard to describe and found in the simple or mundane.

My favorite part about the season Winter is snow. We don't always get snow in Georgia, but it is magical when we do. I am in awe of how beautiful the world looks covered in a blanket of white. When you are in a Winter, you get your own personal snow shower some days. Little reminders of the Lord's steadfast love that covers up the bitter, harsh wind of the world. Personal to you and hard to translate to others.

The sweet mercies in the Winter remind me of Mary. The child she gave birth to was the Messiah, the long awaited King. As she experienced his entrance to the world and how he grew up, she treasured the things in her heart (Luke 2:19).

While I wait in this Winter for Spring, I hope in anticipation of Christ's goodness and glory. I know this season will give way to something more beautiful than I can imagine. 

I have listened to Hillsong's song Seasons close to ten times today and I highly recommend it. 

Then if You're not done working God I'm not done waiting,

You can see my promise Even in the winter

A season of Winter is a gift. Sometimes that promise is not what we expect it to be, but so much better.

"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Lamentation 3:25-26