Stop Being a Control Freak
I am a senior in college. Research says the number one question asked of seniors in college is, "What are you doing after you graduate?". [This is based on my personal research, not any legitimate research]
As someone who does not want to think about this question, I do not like this question.
Because I don't know the answer.
I have always known what I am doing next. After middle school came high school where I would be in band and be the soccer manager. After high school I would go to Berry College and study elementary education and be in the Winshape College Program.
After college...?
The obvious answer is teach somewhere. It is what I have wanted to do my entire life, but there are days I question it. So, again, I don't know what I am going to do.
For someone who likes to plan things and have her life planned out, this is stressful. I wanted to know the answer to this question yesterday.
This would be my impatient conversation with God:
Me: "Okay, I have been praying about this for a month. Where is my neon sign telling me where to go and what to do?"
God: "Carrie, you aren't in control of your life. I am."
Me: "I know that. That is why I have been giving this to you!"
God: "Have you given it to Me? Have you given yourself to Me? Just rest in Me. I got this. You can plan all you want, Carrie, but I will establish your steps. Be still."
Then, I tell myself to stop being a control freak, breathe, and let go. It isn't that easy and I am still doing that as I type this. Continually breathing in and out and letting go.
Before this semester started, God pointed me to these verses in James that I have to read or remind myself of every day.
"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"-yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that".
James 4:13-15
If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that. It has become my mantra. Every time I am worrying about where I will be a year from now, I hear this verse. I repeat it and pray over it.
The Lord has a plan for my life and I may not know the entirety of it right now and that is okay. Continue on the path He has set before me until He says to turn right or left.
"The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."
Proverbs 16:9
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14
As someone who does not want to think about this question, I do not like this question.
Because I don't know the answer.
I have always known what I am doing next. After middle school came high school where I would be in band and be the soccer manager. After high school I would go to Berry College and study elementary education and be in the Winshape College Program.
After college...?
The obvious answer is teach somewhere. It is what I have wanted to do my entire life, but there are days I question it. So, again, I don't know what I am going to do.
For someone who likes to plan things and have her life planned out, this is stressful. I wanted to know the answer to this question yesterday.
This would be my impatient conversation with God:
Me: "Okay, I have been praying about this for a month. Where is my neon sign telling me where to go and what to do?"
God: "Carrie, you aren't in control of your life. I am."
Me: "I know that. That is why I have been giving this to you!"
God: "Have you given it to Me? Have you given yourself to Me? Just rest in Me. I got this. You can plan all you want, Carrie, but I will establish your steps. Be still."
Then, I tell myself to stop being a control freak, breathe, and let go. It isn't that easy and I am still doing that as I type this. Continually breathing in and out and letting go.
Before this semester started, God pointed me to these verses in James that I have to read or remind myself of every day.
"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"-yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that".
James 4:13-15
If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that. It has become my mantra. Every time I am worrying about where I will be a year from now, I hear this verse. I repeat it and pray over it.
The Lord has a plan for my life and I may not know the entirety of it right now and that is okay. Continue on the path He has set before me until He says to turn right or left.
"The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."
Proverbs 16:9
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14
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