Trust in Me

Have you ever seen Disney's The Jungle Book? It's a classic about a boy named Mowgli who was raised by wolves in the jungle, but is in danger because the tiger, Shere Khan, wants to kill him. On his journey to reluctantly leave the jungle, Mowgli meets lots of animals. Some are friends and some are foes. One foe in particular is Kaa, a sneaky boa constrictor. 

In one scene, we find Kaa trying to persuade Mowgli to trust him.

Mowgli: You want to help me?

Kaa: Ss-certainly. I can see to it that you never have to leave this jungle.

Mowgli: How could you do that?

Kaa: Hmm? Oh, I have my own ss-subtle little ways. But first, you must

trust me.

Mowgli: I don't trust anyone anymore.

Kaa: I don't blame you. I'm not like those so-called fair-weather friends

of yours. You can believe in me.

Kaa just wants to eat Mowgli. He doesn't care about him, but Mowgli falls for the trick. At least, until he wakes up.

Trust has been my theme for the summer. Whenever God would remind me to trust Him, I always thought of this scene. Then, I decided to watch it and realized my version of trust is just like Mowgli trusting in Kaa or no one at all. 

I have a hard time trusting others. Strangers, acquaintances, even close friends. I don't fully trust myself sometimes. 

[Sidenote: if you are reading this and you are someone who is close to me, please don't be offended. This does not mean I do not trust you, but it means that I struggle with it sometimes because of the way my often anxious mind works. AKA: it's not you, it's me.]

My anxious heart is a result of my sin. My Father tells me not to be anxious about my finances, clothes, food, body. Do not be anxious about your life, Carrie. The flower blooms, the birds are taken care of. I take care of every living thing and you see that each day. You are more valuable to me than the birds or the flowers. You will not add an hour to your life by worrying, so don't be anxious about the future. Have faith. Trust Me. (Adapted from Matthew 6:25-34).

My anxious heart is the result of not knowing how to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) in a healthy manner. I was told to guard my heart from the time I was in middle school, but no one told me what that meant. After giving my heart away so many times during my freshman and sophomore year of college, I decided that guarding it meant not trusting anyone with it. Including my Heavenly Father.

My friendships became unhealthy and I hurt a lot of people. My lack of trust turned me into an anxious, lonely mess. I would like to say that I turned to God immediately and sought Him, but I didn't. I recognized my need to do this, but relationship with Him was intermittent and sought for the betterment of myself rather than for the joy of knowing Him.

But I need Him. He is my Abba Father and when I give my attention to all the Kaas of this world (which I so often do) I am left so empty. 

This summer, Abba has continually told me to trust Him. It is just a little whisper when I am fretting. Just trust Me, Carrie. I am taking care of you.

He tells me that trusting in Him will be my strength (Isaiah 30:15).

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5

How should I guard my heart? By trusting in my Abba Father. By giving Him the anxious thoughts swimming in my head. By abiding in His love. 

Jesus already bore all my burdens. He is showing me how to give them to Him. How to trust in His plan and not my own. 

Each day I have to choose to surrender and trust Him. I'm learning to do this. The days I listen and obey are the most beautiful. They are not necessarily easier days, but they are days with rich reminders of who God is and how He loves.